Alzheimers Disease

Many of you know that my mother died of Alzheimers Disease, in 2008.  She was in its throes for almost a decade:  it robbed a beautiful, intelligent, eloquent, vital woman of just about everything she was.  For the last couple years, she could not walk, talk, feed herself, read, write, communicate, or recognize even those closest to her...She went from a very self-sufficient woman who had been valedictorian of her class...an excellent cook...master gardener...one who could work the very difficult New York Times Sunday edition crossword puzzle...a lover of opera and classical music...world traveler...an interesting conversationalist who loved people, entertaining, reading, writing, needlework, bridge...to one who was totally dependent upon others for absolutely everything.

Mother had not been herself for the years Daddy was ill with cancer, and we attributed some of her behavior to the stress of his illness.  After his death, it became evident that something else was going on.  She was diagnosed with Alzheimers about a year after his death...she had to give up driving (after several accidents); she lost the ability to cook and garden and to add and subtract.  Her handwriting became illegible.  She was paranoid about someone breaking in and stealing her possessions, so she hid things from others (and couldn't find them herself.)  A move to a retirement community followed, first to an apartment in Independent Living, then Assisted Living, then Special Care for Alzheimers patients, finally Skilled Nursing Care

When the move to Assisted Living happened, I went over and spent several days with her, trying to acclimate her to the changes in living quarters, dining room, routine, etc.  I was sitting next to her, in her new dining room, when she turned to me and said, "Where in the world is Nance?  She is late for dinner, and she knew I was expecting her!"  She was talking about me, to me.  I felt so badly for her, as it embarrassed her when she realized what she'd done.  It was a very sad moment for us both.

I learned, from experts in the field...from reading...from talking with others...from doctors and nurses and social workers and trained volunteers...to smile and listen, to not argue with her or to correct her, to be positive, to be loving and to give hugs, to encourage.  She deserved respect, and we tried to treat her that way.  She had cared for me when I was a child, and I wanted to care for her with as much love as she had always shown me.  She deserved dignity...and thankfully she received that from everyone around her.  We brought her crayons and coloring books; helped her with her beloved crossword puzzles; we read books of poetry; we brought her new comfortable and easy to put on  clothing, a fake diamond ring to replace her wedding set, which she often took off and lay on her bed or dresser.  We did crafts and bird-watched and planted pansies and gourds and watched them grow.  We arranged fresh flowers and brought more pictures for her rogue's gallery of family photos; we played the piano and organ and sang familiar hymns...and simple, lovely songs like Jesus Loves Me...and old songs like Clementine and She'll be Coming 'Round the Mountain and Irish Eyes...We walked the halls and went outside to sit in the gazebo, with the sign that had Psalm 121 on it:  "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help."  - We would read it and look up to Grandfather Mountain and behold the beauty of God's creation.

I share these experiences and descriptions not to scare or depress anyone...you may be experiencing Alzheimers with your parent or spouse or loved one.  I say what I do as a matter of fact.  For being informed and prepared...to be knowledgeable and ready...to know what to expect...is far superior to having it hit you broadside...or between the eyes.  I know it's tempting to hide one's head in the sand...to say "ignorance is bliss"...but from my experience, I'd rather know so I can face it with the coping skills that come from knowledge.  It is difficult, to say the least...very stressful, very draining both emotionally and physically.  But being informed and armed with needed skills is so helpful.

Pat Summitt, the wonderful coach of the Tennessee Lady Vols basketball team, was diagnosed last summer with Early Onset Dementia, Alzheimers Type. Not Pat...so young, so smart, so energetic, so intense, so loved.  The only good thing in the world about her situation is that perhaps it will bring well-needed attention to this sad disease; and perhaps the disease will get the attention and research funding it so deserves.

I saw a news spot stating that Alzheimers researchers spend more of their time trying to raise money for their research than they actually spend doing research, not because that's how they want it but because research on AD is so terribly underfunded.  It is billions of dollars below cancer and heart disease and some other also well-deserving diseases/causes in its funding and resources.   

We can all do our share in helping:  give, walk to raise money for Alzheimers research, encourage those who are affected.  We can help the caregivers.  We can pray to God for a preventive and for a cure.  We can take a meal...write a note of encouragement...offer to run errands.  We can pass out literature that  might help. We can  give hugs and pats to those who are walking this journey with their loved ones.  We can walk in their mocassins,  share their pain and try to divide it. We can  listen and understand and cry with them or try to bring laughter and humor.  We can encourage them to take care of themselves as they care for their loved one.  We can use our God-given gifts and talents to help in many different ways.

It has been almost 4 years since Mother's journey through Alzheimers ended...Memories of that journey are still fresh but fading some as the years go by.  God, in His grace, is healing our broken hearts as we move on in life. God help us all as we move towards a day when Alzheimers is conquered and persons and their families are spared its sadness.  We must not despair but hold onto hope...help each other...do what we can.  Some day it'll be just like polio and mumps and smallpox:  a thing of the past.  Let's pray that that day is coming soon.