One Step Up, Two Steps Back

You'd think I'd learn.  I'm 64 years old and old enough to know better.  But I still can open mouth, insert foot with the best (or worst) of them.

Here's the story:  I feel passionately about grandmothering.  I love the role.  I get to do it lots.  And I take it seriously.  I love the little guy and want to be the best I can be with him and for him and to him.  I don't want to be competitive with my role.  Others may do it better...or differently...  That's fine.  But for me, I don't want to spoil my grandson or to overdo certain areas or to neglect certain areas.  I just want to do a good job and have a sweet, honest, happy, well-adjusted, healthy little one as a result.

A longtime friend posted something that got my interest and made me question myself, as to what I would do in her situation.  Her eldest grandchild (school-age, kindergarten, I think) said she might be bored today, in her grandmother's care, since there were no Barbies or babydolls at her grandmother's.  So they all went to Target and got some...plus other gifts for each of the three grandchildren in her care.  Very sweet gesture on the grandmother's part. 

My question, to myself, was:  would I do that?  Probably not.  Not this soon after Christmas.  My parents wouldn't have, not for me, my brother, nor our children.  They were good to us.  But what we didn't need we ususally didn't get, except on VERY special occasions. 

All this is fine, except on Facebook, I asked if the little granddaughter could have brought some Barbies from home.  And then I went on and explained why I was questioning, wondering.  It was for MY sake, not meant as a criticism of her decision. 

But you know what?  I was wrong.  It came across as a criticism, I'm sure.  I reread it and thought:  uh oh.  I've screwed up (again.)  And I'm very sorry.  I should have kept my wonderings to myself.  Everyone should do or be what they feel is best.  Who am I to question for all the world to see!  Do I have the corner on the grandparent market?  Certainly not!  Would I intentionally hurt my friend?  No indeed.  But I'm sure I did, and again, I'm so sorry. 

Lesson learned.  I'll keep on trying to do my very best as a grandmother.  I'll love and play and read and pray and try.  But I will not wonder publicly, aloud, or at the expense of friendship.  I'll follow the leading that I should have before, and Good Lord willing and with His help, I won't make this mistake again.

With that being said, we'll move on to another day in the life of a struggling Christian who is weak and incomplete and taking baby steps toward maturity.  One of these days!  Thanks for coming along on the journey.