I Know the Answer, But...

It's so frustrating when you have a problem, know the answer to the problem, but you just can't seem to get there.  Case in point:  I'm having a little trouble with anger.  I'm not a very angry person, by nature.  It's takes quite a lot to rile me up!  But when I AM angry, I don't know quite how to handle it.

Growing up, anger wasn't allowed at our house.  It was highly discouraged if not forbidden.  My parents were very uncomfortable with anger, so it was just not allowed.  I accepted that.  But human nature being as it is, anger is going to happen.  So if you're not allowed to have that emotion, what do you do with what's happening?

I don't blame my folks for this.  They had good reason not to like it.  Who does?  They were both rather sensitive by nature and had some experiences in their own upbringing with unpleasant anger experiences in their families...so, the way they handled it was just to not let it happen.

As a result, I pretty much just swallowed it as a child...I know better as an adult.  You HAVE to acknowledge it.  Say, "That makes me angry."  But you DO NOT swallow it.  It eats you alive if you do.

 I know the answer to my current problem:

You get angry but you do not sin.
You do not act inappropriately.
You do not yell at anyone or call them out or curse them.
You do not gossip about them or judge them or wish evil upon them.

You LOVE them.  You are slow to speak.  You forgive.  You pray for them who despitefully use you...or persecute you.

Sounds so easy.  But it's VERY hard, at least for me.  Knowing what to do and doing what you know to do are two different things.

Today, in three different instances, as I struggled with my problem, I was given the exact same answers as listed above!  Talk about more than coincidental.  Since I am very tired of trying hard...and very tired of having ugly thoughts...and very tired of being mad at myself for being so unChristlike...I am giving this over to God and asking Him humbly to just take it.  He is sovereign.  He is all-seeing and all-knowing.  He is powerful and good and loving.  He can do it.  He can help me do it.

So there it is.  I already feel better.  Free and clean and good.