2013

So, today is November 26, 2013...11/12 of the year is gone...past history...and here we are a couple days before Thanksgiving, a month before Christmas, just over a month til the new year dawns.  I'm thinking back to this time last year, as I was pondering recent events and processing them, as I tend to do.  I had New Year's Resolutions on my mind and though a little premature, was thinking what I would "resolve" to do in 2013.

I had had fruit of the spirit on my mind lots, and so I resolved to build a basket of spiritual fruit in my life for the upcoming new year...plus a few more attributes that I felt would better my life and make me a little more Christlike.  It was a worthy goal.

Looking back, however, I think I fell well-short.  I have experienced some progress, but with me it seems to be one step up, two steps back.  Those wonderful attributes are very elusive, especially when things are rough or stressful, as most of our year has been.

I listed love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, self-control, etc and wrote about each for the first several months of the year.  As the year went on, and as things continued to spin somewhat out of control in some aspects, it seemed that I had created a monster of sorts with my lofty goals.  You know how it goes sometimes...pray for patience and then get tested...pray for peace and find yourself in the middle of an uproar...pray for self-control and then find yourself counting to 10 once every hour or so.

So defeating...so discouraging.

Then it dawned on me...just let it go.  Relax a little bit.  Cut yourself some slack.  Next year may be trying but I'd be willing to bet not as trying as this one has been.  Or tiring...no, make that not as exhausting.  I think it's setting up to be a GOOD year; I'm counting on it!  I think as our stressors mounted, my spirit of defeat increased incrementally...certainly not what I wanted or resolved.  I was letting my feeling of defeat overshadow my growth, and that fact was keeping me down and out.  Realizing what was going on did so much to allow me to just let go and let God be in control, as only He can.

God has never left us, never has forsaken us, still loves us, still undergirds us, especially when the going gets tough.  I think He is perhaps even a little proud of us for enduring and coming out of our tough year with gentler attitudes and still in one piece emotionally and physically.  We need His approval, His smiles, His hugs and encouragement.  He did not disappoint us at all.

So:  there's next year!  I have my list of around 15 very admirable and I think even attainable spiritual goals, and I intend to incorporate these traits into my life and heart.  I'm not resolving to do so, just to do my dead-level best to be all I can be, with God's help.  Could it be that I'm feeling more at peace already?  And growing some because of all the trials?  That would make them all worth while! 

My basket will not be full nor overflowing in 2013 but there's still tomorrow.  I won't take these for granted.  I will be open and receptive and expectant of/to these...they will still be my goals.  But no more pressure to have them in abundance or else.  I am going to be still and know that He is God, and I am His beloved child.  That's enough!!

My best wishes to each of you this Thanksgiving season.  As Christmas approaches, may the God of all our hopes and dreams and resolutions be very real to each of us, as we strive to follow more closely and to serve our fellowman with more light and life.

Good Words

While traveling down the interstate recently, I listened to one of my favorite radio teachers on Christian radio.  His introductory topic was about encouragement...about listening and responding with a good word or two that would help the other person feel better or to use his words, "make the other person's heart glad."

I liked that.  I needed to hear that.  I want to do that!

Being an empathetic person, I feel compelled to respond to a person's situation, dilemma, problem...I want to say something positive, something supportive, something helpful.  Sometimes, however, it's open mouth, insert foot.  Or it's taken wrongly.  Or not the right thing to say AT ALL.  Or too much advice.  Very discouraging, as my intentions are so good.  I feel like Paul:  I don't do (say) what I want to or I do (say) something I shouldn't have.

So, I have a new resolve to find that perfect "good word."  Perhaps it will best, meanwhile, while I learn, to say little and just listen.  Perhaps "less is more."  Maybe becoming a better listener will make me a better encourager.

So off I go on my new learning adventure:  finding good words.  I know what it feels like to be given a "good word."  I immediately feel better, more positive,  comforted, strengthened.  So I'll use that as my jumping off point:  I'll just try to feel and say what  I would want to hear if I were in that person's shoes. 

Life is hard, and we all find ourselves in difficult places.  We need encouragement, understanding, helpful words that lift our spirits and give us the will to go on, that assurance that everything will be all right.  Here's to "good words" - hearing them and speaking them.  May we find that delicate balance between just listening and knowing what to say and when to say it.  May my words, indeed, be good ones:  "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be always acceptable" to God...and to the ones to whom they are spoken.

Lessons

Lazy summer days are good for reflecting, so here goes!

- Each day is a gift from God; I will not waste a single one.
- Every person is unique and wonderfully made, for a purpose; I will respect each one.
- Everything that happens to us prepares us for the next step in life; I will learn from each.
- God resides in the praises of His children; I will praise Him!
- God,  in His creation, is a Master artist; I appreciate each beautiful masterpiece.
- Little children learn what they live; I will be careful of each word and attitude they hear and see in me.
- Learning to be content in whatever circumstance I find myself is key; I will strive for contentment.
- Not every other person has been fortunate enough to have a good upbringing; I will try to remember this when my tendency to judge rises up.
- Gratitude is an attitude I love; I will not succumb to anything less.
- Sharing with others is something I learned in kindergarten; I will continue in this as long as I live.
- Pity-parties are self-defeating; I will not throw one.
- Listening beats talking any day of the week; I will listen more and talk less.
- Reacting is not fruitful, unless I do it with restraint and forethought; I will think first and act second.
- Being frugal reaps great rewards; I will not spend thoughtlessly or as retail therapy.
- Understanding others takes patience and understanding; God grant me these, please!
- Raising up a child in the way he shall grow:  a very hard job but so worth it.
- Life's challenges build spiritual muscles; I will be stronger, with God's help.
- Starting the day off with God, in His word, talking with Him, listening, and learning...recipe for a better day!
- Exercising your passions, your gifts, your talents:  very rewarding.
- Keeping the faith, through trials and hard times, keeps us keeping on.

Yes, an early summer morning, full of possibilities, is an open book, a blank slate.  Let's see what we can accomplish today.  It may not be earthshaking or award-winning, but it can be a day full of goodness and satisfaction; a day where we can say "thank you, God" and feel peace and contentment.  That's worth millions to me.  How about you?

Kindergarten

A good friend of ours has a little girl who has just finished kindergarten.  She is snaggled toothed, smiley, a reader, and cute as a button.  This has been a momentous year for her, as she embraced school and all its challenges and "firsts" and adventures on her own.  And she's done great!  A win/win for her and her parents.

I remember my kindergarten years.  At age 4, I and my friends went to "morning group."  At age 5, we did "afternoon group."  This was in the days of no public kindergarten, so it was of the private variety.  I absolutely loved every minute of it!  I can still see our "room."  It was in the original Norris Community Building, a multi-purpose building of the 1930s era (I think.)  It had hardwood floors, and we had a whole fleet of tricycles inside where we could race around with no fear of hitting walls or pedestrians or anything that was dangerous or valuable.  I can envision our tables and chairs and the outdoor playgound...I can even "smell" the place...a combination of paste, clay, and tempera paint!

In 1953 and 1954, our curriculum was certainly not like today's kindergartener's.  We didn't learn to read or add and subtract.  But it was good for us socially and emotionally.  We learned to be independent, to listen, to share, to be creative.  And we learned manners, right from wrong, and appropriate behavior.

I'm sure you've read, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum.  I highly recommend the book; even a re-read if it's been a while.  It should be required reading, in my opinion, for we could use an extra dose of civility in the world in which we live.  Too often, folks are unkind, rude, too outspoken, selfish, unwilling to compromise, to see the other's person's view, to consider the other guy might just be right.  If we could learn and live this credo, its wisdom might just be about all that's necessary to live a meaningful life.

So, here goes: 

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.  Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup:  The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.  So do we.
And then remember the Dick and Jane books and the first word you learned --the biggest word of all--LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.  The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.  Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Here's to some good reading; 197 pages of wisdom, pure and simple.  May God convict each of us with its lessons and teach us anew to be good to one another.  Life is short, and we need to live each day to its fullest, without regret.  Carpe diem, my friends!  Long live kindergarten and its wonderful, necessary life-lessons!

Goodness

It's May, the month of goodness.  I think we all want to be good, to do good, to share goodness with others.  Sometimes that's hard.  Especially when we're hurt or distressed or in the middle of adversity.  That's when we tend to be our "real" selves.  It's been said that you can tell a lot about a person when they're under pressure or in the middle of great adversity.  I don't much like that, but it's often true.  Put a person in a pressure cooker and watch how they act.  Many times it's not a very graceful...or grace-filled...sight.  That's when the anger and short temper and selfishness often appear.  Sad but true.

So how do we be "good"  when the pressure is on?

How can we look beyond ourselves and focus on goodness?

We can be good.  We can speak goodness instead of ugly, hurtful words. We can have good attitudes instead of spiteful ones.  We can think of others instead of ourselves.  We can have our priorities straight and look out for the best interests of others.  We can speak truth in love.  We don't have to sacrifice our principles in order to keep the peace.

How?  With God's help.  Through His Spirit, we can be fruitful.  We can walk in His footsteps and be more like Him.  We can be good.

On the last page of scripture, in Revelation 22, God says, "On either side of the river is the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit each month..."  I was amazed at this scripture as it explains my 2013 list of "fruit,"  one for each month, as my resolutions or goals.  I had forgotten this scripture in January when I came up with my list.  Isn't God just like that, to lead us?  I'm grateful and feel confirmed in this. 

So...we now have peace, love, joy, faithfulness and hope, and are working on having goodness in our basket.  Can't wait to see what this basket (my life) will look like at the end of the year.  I'm a work in progress for sure.  Hopefully by 2014, I will be a little more like Him.

Little Ones

I have little ones on my mind this morning...several little people who need our prayers and who are the objects of our praise.  Here they are:  would you join me in celebrating these young lives?

Harper:  two years old today!  She started out life with an emergency delivery at 23-24 weeks gestation.  So tiny...so sick...so fragile.  She is an overcomer for sure and today celebrates her birthday.  Perfectly beautiful...walking...learning...right on target, having overcome so many obstacles and hurdles.  Happy Birthday, sweet girl.

Saxon:  13 years old, battling cancer, fighting hard.  He's such a sweet kid and has had such a hard time with chemo and all that goes with that.  His family is so faithful and is working so hard to give him what he needs in terms of treatment and support and encouragement.  They have great faith and much hope.  He's very fortunate to be in the family that is his.  And the larger family of faith, as well.  Be strong in His love, Saxon.  Many join you in your journey.

Tripp:  I don't know this child but found his story compelling.  While at daycare, a large limb fell from a tree, crushing his skull.  He is now 2 1/2, six months out from the accident.  He is now home, in therapy to help him recover from severe brain damage.  He has a long way to go but has many folks helping him and pulling for him.  A very sad story but one with hope.  Precious little boy...

Drew:  He is 5 months old, at Vanderbilt in the NICU since birth.  Tomorrow is a big day in his life as he undergoes open heart surgery.  He has other health issues, including pulmonary hypertension, which complicate matters greatly.  He is in good hands, with his family, drs and nurses, and with His Heavenly Father in control.  Would you pray for him, please?  His mother, whom we've known since her childhood, is so faithful; reading her blogs is like being in church.  Bless them, one and all.

There are others, but I'll concentrate on those above.  Each child is precious, special, and well-loved.  May God hold them in the palm of His hand and grant to each just exactly what they need.  We trust you, Father, with their care.  And we pray for miracles.  And thank you for your loving care of these dear little ones.

Faithfulness and Hope

Well, we are almost half-way through April and need to touch on our fruit basket for 2013.  We started in January with peace, followed by love in February, and joy in March.  The words for April are "faithfulness" and "hope." 

When making resolutions for this year, I felt led to focus on Fruit of the Spirit.  My thinking was this:  if I can focus on His Spirit and what He leads me to do in my life, I'll certainly have a pretty good year.  Not necessarily in things going like I want them to...or in realizing my dreams...or in winning the lottery, etc.  But in how I cope with things...and how my outlook on things can influence my thoughts, words, and deeds.

So far, so good!  We have certainly had challenges this year.  And I'm still above water!  I have to think that leaning hard on God, being in touch with Him through His spirit, and thanking Him daily for our many blessings has contributed to that fact.  Not that I haven't had my "moments."  I certainly have, when I lose my focus, have a pity party, or fall into worry and negative thinking.  But for the most part, I have felt close to God and in His keeping.

This month, I hope to remain faithful and to have hope for our future.  The two certainly go hand in hand, don't they.  He will be faithful to us!  He will never leave us nor forsake us.  In Him is our hope.  Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness.  He is the hope of our world and our hope as we follow Him.   

So, here's to a month of celebrating faithfulness:  His and mine.  Here's to hope for today and for tomorrow.  Though dark clouds may hover, though we get thunder and lightning in our lives, though we have fire to walk through and very high tides and deep rivers to ford, we can nonetheless depend on our heavenly father to strengthen us, to sustain us, to keep us under the protection of His mighty wings.

If He is fully faithful and full of  hope, then we can be, as well.

So, April, here we are.  Peace, love, joy, faithfulness and hope.  Quite a lot of treasured fruit, ours for the partaking.  You are the Creator and Provider.  Thank you for sharing this fruit.  It's just exactly what we need, and we thank you.

Good Reading

I like to read - It's relaxing to me and transports me to different places and times and introduces me to new people in new situations.  Lately, my taste has been in the lines of Christian novels.  Most of them have been set in times long ago.  Francine Rivers has been my author of choice for about the last five books I've read.  She is very talented and her research into settings and history and situations is remarkable.  Each has its dark side, too; a little daunting at times but pretty realistic, as well, I'm sure.

The Mark of the Lion Collection is a trilogy set in Bible times, right after the death of Christ.  The apostle John, who was probably a teenager when Christ was in his early 30s, is still alive.  It is the era of catacombs, gladiators, chariots...when Christians were highly persecuted, imprisoned, thrown into the arena with lions, fed to wild dogs.  I had a hard time getting into the first book because it has numerous characters, all with Latin names, and I had to really concentrate to learn who was who.  But as the story unfolded, I found myself spellbound.  All three books are excellent, captivating, disturbing, set-you-to-thinking jewels.  I'm so glad to have read them.

In a nutshell, each has characters who worship other gods and who, one by one, are converted to Christianity.  Fascinating reading.  It made me realize anew how fortunate we are.  We are free to worship as we choose, be open about our convictions, pretty much free from much persecution.  We take it so for granted, don't we.  They, on the other hand, took their lives in their hands when they professed to be followers of Christ.  Their own families disowned them; they were literally in danger every second of the day.  Can you imagine risking your life, facing roaring lions or mad dogs, by not worshiping idols or mythological gods and goddesses?

The next time I'm tempted to complain about anything, I will remember how horrible it used to be for Christians...and how dangerous it can still be for our missionaries and other Christians living around the world in less-than-friendly environments.  They are in my prayers for sure.  Never will a day go by that I won't thank God for life in America where I'm free to be who I am in Christ.

Another thing I love about the Lion trilogy is the scripture used.  The gospel is shared frequently and well in the conversions.  In Book 3, the entire story of Christianity is shared, in a nutshell.  These would be excellent books to share with someone struggling or searching or lost.  The author does a wonderful job in applying scripture to life situations. Love is the theme...as are hope, patience, honesty, integrity. 

So, if you're in the market for some good reading, head to the bookstore, Amazon, or the Kindle Store and check out The Mark of the Lion Collection by Francine Rivers.  You won't be sorry!

I Know the Answer, But...

It's so frustrating when you have a problem, know the answer to the problem, but you just can't seem to get there.  Case in point:  I'm having a little trouble with anger.  I'm not a very angry person, by nature.  It's takes quite a lot to rile me up!  But when I AM angry, I don't know quite how to handle it.

Growing up, anger wasn't allowed at our house.  It was highly discouraged if not forbidden.  My parents were very uncomfortable with anger, so it was just not allowed.  I accepted that.  But human nature being as it is, anger is going to happen.  So if you're not allowed to have that emotion, what do you do with what's happening?

I don't blame my folks for this.  They had good reason not to like it.  Who does?  They were both rather sensitive by nature and had some experiences in their own upbringing with unpleasant anger experiences in their families...so, the way they handled it was just to not let it happen.

As a result, I pretty much just swallowed it as a child...I know better as an adult.  You HAVE to acknowledge it.  Say, "That makes me angry."  But you DO NOT swallow it.  It eats you alive if you do.

 I know the answer to my current problem:

You get angry but you do not sin.
You do not act inappropriately.
You do not yell at anyone or call them out or curse them.
You do not gossip about them or judge them or wish evil upon them.

You LOVE them.  You are slow to speak.  You forgive.  You pray for them who despitefully use you...or persecute you.

Sounds so easy.  But it's VERY hard, at least for me.  Knowing what to do and doing what you know to do are two different things.

Today, in three different instances, as I struggled with my problem, I was given the exact same answers as listed above!  Talk about more than coincidental.  Since I am very tired of trying hard...and very tired of having ugly thoughts...and very tired of being mad at myself for being so unChristlike...I am giving this over to God and asking Him humbly to just take it.  He is sovereign.  He is all-seeing and all-knowing.  He is powerful and good and loving.  He can do it.  He can help me do it.

So there it is.  I already feel better.  Free and clean and good.  

Early Morning Thoughts...

I'm sitting at the computer, watching it snow!  Big, beautiful, fluffy flakes, on March 25 no less!  Daffodils are blooming, as are the Bradford Pears...kind of pretty, amongst the snow.  Last week I sported shorts and flip-flops.  It was in Florida, to be sure, but it's somewhat relevant because it has been a strange spring there, as well.  One day:  warm, almost hot...next day:  cool, windy, rainy.  Not typical of our picture-perfect springtime with warm days and for sure, no snow :)

Although Spring officially begins March 20 or 21st, my wise mother always waited til Mother's Day to begin springtime planting, gardening, etc.  Experience had taught her not to believe it was actually here too early on.  I am ALWAYS tempted to hit the garden centers as soon as we have one warm day...but I've learned, the hard way, what can happen.  Money down the drain, as well as time and effort, when we get those gardens started too soon.  There will be more cold...and freezes...and even snow!  So I'll wait this year.

Easter will be here Sunday, and I've been thinking lots about this most important day.  Without Christ's resurrection, Christianity would have no meaning.  We would have no chance at eternal life.  The story would be incomplete.  We can get caught up in deep theology when thinking and discussing Easter, but boiling it down to the simple fact that Jesus died for us, with all our sins upon Him, then was raised from the dead to live forever and to allow us to live forever is what it's all about.  I told Barrett the story last week, in 3-year-old words...then followed it up reading the Easter story from his Bible story book.  He got a sad look on his face when we read about the crucifixion...then smiled widely when Jesus appeared to Mary in the garden.  Alive again!  Wonderful news.  He understood, as well as a little child can, that Jesus died and was buried but came to life again on Easter Sunday.  He'll understand better, by and by.  And what all this means for him in his life.

This Holy Week we'll focus on Jesus' last days and on His sacrifice for us...on His experiences, His suffering, His words, His death and His Resurrection.  Sobering times followed by joy.  One end of the spectrum to the other.  Like days in springtime, from cold and freezing to warm and sunny, we will experience it all.  And just like springtime, we will come through this week with a bright outlook for our futures.  We may go through times of suffering, disappointment, questions without answers and come through these times with bright hopes for our futures.

Thank you, God, for springtime...for a time of renewal, of beginning again.  Thank you for Jesus' ultimate sacrifice for us.  Because He lives, we can face tomorrow.  Because He lives, all fear is gone.  Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living just because He lives!

Shhh! Quiet time...

For many years I tried, really tried, to establish a pattern for my quiet time with God.  I tried journaling, with no real success; surprising, as I love to write...but it just wasn't effective nor satisfying.  I tried reading the Bible through, and it just turned into something rather rote and uninspiring, although I did get some knowledge from the experience.  I tried using The Book of Common Prayer and several hymnals...interesting and a good experience, but still not what I was looking for.

Then this fall, I was shown a devotion book that was written in first person God.  It really spoke to me!  So I got a blank book (actually, I had one that a dear daughter had given me :) and began my journey into reading a devotion and the Bible and writing down what it was saying to ME!  It has been so awesome.  I start out with Max Lucado's Grace for the Moment...then move onto my journal...then use a tiny little picture album of mostly family, where I pray for each one using the theme of the devotional to start with.  For example, if the topic is God's Grace, then I pray for God's grace to be upon my husband, our children, our grandchild, etc. Then I go onto my Bible reading and end up with my favorite online devotion:  d365.  It has turned out to be so rewarding.  I am reaping blessings galore with this quiet time with the Lord. 

One day, I'll look back at my now not-blank book, with my journaling from 2013, and remember with gratitude a time in my life when one of my greatest pleasures began.  This has been a long time coming, and I am enjoying it immensely, looking forward to the early morning and my special time alone with God.  It sets the stage for my day.  It is more-than-coincidentally just what I need each and every day.

So I'll just praise God for showing me the way and pass what is working for me to you, my reader friends.   And I say better late than never in finding my way into this wonderful, quiet encounter that is enriching my life so very much.

Something to REALLY think about...

Next time any of us lapses into a personal pity party, we might want to think about counting our blessings.  It's part of our human nature, I know, to wish things that are unpleasant would go away...that our lives would be void of unpleasantness of any kind...that happiness would get here and stay.

But reality tells us that this is NOT real.  Life is full of disappointment, unrealized dreams, far-from-fairy tale endings.  It's a journey, for sure.  And hard at times.  I understand that, for others and for us.

But you know, there are those in our lives or in our circle of friends that REALLY have it tough.  A young woman we know - our son's age - who is in a situation that truly is heartrending.  Her baby was born with multiple challenges and has been in the hospital since his birth in November.  He very well may celebrate his first birthday there.  She spends most of her time there, with occasional trips to Knoxville to be with her husband and kindergartener.  You can only imagine what the hospital bill is.  You can only imagine how stressed she and her family must be, with a critically ill child, separation, finances, etc.  Yet she has the greatest faith and expressions of it I have ever seen.  It is truly humbling to read her blogs on Caringbridge...like being in church.  It is inspiring and uplifting and worshipful.

I am so proud of her.  She has captured my heart and put my life and its ups and down into perspective.  Not only do I count my blessings more...but I truly empathize and see my life and things in it so much more clearly.

A person can have joy in his/her life, even in the midst of very hard circumstances.  If a person has a personal relationship with Christ...if they can trust and hope and believe in God's presence in their life, if they have given their hurts and challenges and circumstances to Him, then they can truly face the future with true hope and faith.  It makes all the difference in their outlook.  It's the calm within the storm, the peace that passes understanding. 

So, let's get outside ourselves and think of others who have it so much worse in their situations.  Let's learn from those who are trusting and leaving it to God and who inspire us with His hope.  Thinking of others first not only helps them but puts our own problems into perspective.  Thank you, God, for lessons learned.  May you keep our friends in your care and heal their child.  Care for them in ways You alone can...and may we give of ourselves to them, being Your hands and feet on this earth, Your servants, sharing of ourselves with them.  It can only lessen their stress, increase their joy, and bring glory to You.

It's March!

Well, February - Love Month - has come and gone, and March is upon us.  January was the month of peace, February love, and for March, think joy!  Now that's a happy thought, isn't it.  With all the cold and bad weather and more than a little bad news, with deaths, illness, the economic problems and personal difficulties happening, we can all use a little joy, can't we.

I'm enjoying the fruit basket we're assembling in 2013.  It's been fun to see how many times a day I'm reminded of the current month's theme.  In January, I kept coming upon scripture about peace...even when I was not looking or thinking about it.  Same thing in February, about love.  So I'm excited to see what new and inspiring things come my way this month, the month of joy.

Joy is indeed a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  It is kin to happiness but so much more.  I've seen folk search for happiness and not find it...then be completely filled with joy, a gift from God, when they accept His love.  It's a spiritual thing, for sure.  Some search and search, trying this way and that, to find happiness, to no avail.  It isn't found in the things of this world, nor in material things, nor in individuals or experiences.  Perhaps momentarily, but nothing that lasts or that is of eternal value.  It's very sad to watch folk who are searching in all the wrong places for something that God so wishes to grant, if they would only look up to Him.  Conversely, it's the best present in the world to see a person whose joy is just overflowing, even in the midst of hard times and sad times. as well as in the good times.

It's joy that is contagious...uplifting...strengthening...healing.  It's joy that is obvious when someone who might be sad or depressed or overcome or devastated actually makes you feel better, when you've come to cheer them up or comfort them.  It's joy that shows in one's countenance...that brings a smile...that is tangible to all around.

So as winter's gloomy days hang on, open yourself up to God and His gift of joy.  It can come in the morning, after a long, sleepless night.  It can make someone's day, to observe you exuding that wonderful sense of joy.  Joy, pure and unadulterated, is just about the best medicine there is to heal a broken heart or to turn doubts around.  Seek it; ask for it; enjoy it; be thankful for it; treasure it; share it!

Here's to a heart filled with joy.  Make this a joy-filled and joyful month as we fill the bowl of our lives with God's wonderful fruit of the Spirit...peace, love, joy and more to come in the months ahead. 

Mid-February

Good morning, on this mid-February day.  To most, it's Valentine's Day...the day 'o love.  A fun day for children, with its parties and cards and good-things-to-eat.  I remember it fondly:  the little paperbag containers for the Valentines...the little candy hearts with words on them, lots of chocolate, etc etc.  I remember having mixed feelings about it as a teenager, pre-John.  Feeling a little left out, a little lonely when others were getting flowers and gifts.  I am grateful for sweet remembrances from our children:  cookies and cards and sweet words of affirmation.  I LOVE my flowers and sweet cards from my sweet husband.  Anything given in love is heart-warming and so appreciated.

I remember one Valentines when a local school sold flowers for $1.  Some of the kids had literally lapfuls of them at the end of the day...and some had none :(  Not such a great idea on the part of the school, in my opinion.  Why set up some kids for sad feelings...whose idea was that??

Besides being Valentines, it's also the second day of Lent.  Having grown up in a church where the Christian calendar is observed everyday of the year, I have vivid memories of Lent....giving up things, saving money in my Mite box...celebrating every Sunday as a little Easter...Shrove Tuesday with its pancakes, Ash Wednesday and the imposition of ashes; we were humbled with the ash cross on our foreheads and its meaning...to keep close to our hearts during the 40 days to follow...the darkness which would be followed by the great light of Easter at Christ's resurrection.  I'm so pleased that churches other than Anglican ones now participate in Advent and Lent and other meaningful and wonderful times of preparation and emphasis.  It greatly adds to the Christian experience and growth.

So today, we celebrate love...traditional and spiritual.  Since it is Love Month, I'll close with some sweet words of love:

- Love never gives up.
- Love cares more for others than for self.
- Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
- Love doesn't strut.
- Love doesn't have a swelled head
- Doesn't force itself on others.
- Isn't always "me first."
- Doesn't fly off the handle.
- Doesn't keep score of the sins of others.
- Doesn't revel when others grovel.
- Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.
- Puts up with anything.
- Trusts God always.
- Always looks for the best,
- Never looks back,
- But keeps going to the end...

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. 
And the best of the three is LOVE!

From I Corinthians 13 - The Message

High School!

I've been reading a lot of Jennifer Niven lately.  Dear friends recommended her books to me, and I was off and running with a three-novel series she wrote.  Fascinating!  Endearing!  Addictive!  I was sad when I finished the three and had enjoyed her writing so much that I investigated her other books and came across one entitled, "The AquaNet Diaries."  Pretty catchy title, huh?

So I purchased it from the Kindle store and just finished it.  It chronicles Jennifer's high school days and set me thinking about mine.

Some observations:  high school days were fun!  and trying...and hard...and mystifying...and wonderful...and awful.  All the above.  I don't remember much about my freshman and sophomore years.  I remember being excited and overwhelmed and happy.  I had come from two years at a public school grades 1-12; 1 1/2 years in a new elementary school; 4 1/2 years at a local elementary school...and felt suddenly like a fish out of water.  Junior and senior years I remember vividly, down to small details!  Must have found my waterwings because I loved every minute of those two years, particularly.  Might have to do with a certain somebody named John!  It was puppy love at first sight, and we've been together now those two years, two in college, and 43+ in marriage :) 

Back to Jennifer's experience:  I must say my high school years were tame in comparison to hers.  I bet her mom got an instant education in what went on in J's life when this memoir was published.  There were lots of parties, drinking, cigarettes, speeding, cutting class, and other shenanigans from the beginning to the end!  As for me, I would have died rather than disappoint my parents by getting in trouble or doing poorly at anything.  Miss goody-two-shoes of the first degree!  And no regrets at all.

Her conclusion...and mine...is:  high school can be a wonderful experience...and high school can be an awful experience.  It's a wonder some survive, both physically and emotionally.  So much competition; superficiality, self-absorption, pettiness, silliness, meanness...but so many friendships, great conversations, meaningful relationships, life-long soulmate formation, lessons in maturity...plus much learning and mind-stretching and reaching-for-the-star experiences academically.  Plus some great teachers and crummy teachers...fun sporting events and heartbreaking lessons in losing.

She surmises that the high school experience is about the same worldwide!  I wouldn't know about that, from personal experience, but I do recommend her books for your reading enjoyment.  Beware that there is some language in all.  Not horrible but perhaps a little too much for some.

All this being said, I rate my high school experience as super-good, and I wouldn't trade my friends in the Knoxville Central High School Class of 1967 for any in the world!  I might add that many other friends, older and younger than I, are right there, too.  Love you guys!

One Step Up, Two Steps Back

You'd think I'd learn.  I'm 64 years old and old enough to know better.  But I still can open mouth, insert foot with the best (or worst) of them.

Here's the story:  I feel passionately about grandmothering.  I love the role.  I get to do it lots.  And I take it seriously.  I love the little guy and want to be the best I can be with him and for him and to him.  I don't want to be competitive with my role.  Others may do it better...or differently...  That's fine.  But for me, I don't want to spoil my grandson or to overdo certain areas or to neglect certain areas.  I just want to do a good job and have a sweet, honest, happy, well-adjusted, healthy little one as a result.

A longtime friend posted something that got my interest and made me question myself, as to what I would do in her situation.  Her eldest grandchild (school-age, kindergarten, I think) said she might be bored today, in her grandmother's care, since there were no Barbies or babydolls at her grandmother's.  So they all went to Target and got some...plus other gifts for each of the three grandchildren in her care.  Very sweet gesture on the grandmother's part. 

My question, to myself, was:  would I do that?  Probably not.  Not this soon after Christmas.  My parents wouldn't have, not for me, my brother, nor our children.  They were good to us.  But what we didn't need we ususally didn't get, except on VERY special occasions. 

All this is fine, except on Facebook, I asked if the little granddaughter could have brought some Barbies from home.  And then I went on and explained why I was questioning, wondering.  It was for MY sake, not meant as a criticism of her decision. 

But you know what?  I was wrong.  It came across as a criticism, I'm sure.  I reread it and thought:  uh oh.  I've screwed up (again.)  And I'm very sorry.  I should have kept my wonderings to myself.  Everyone should do or be what they feel is best.  Who am I to question for all the world to see!  Do I have the corner on the grandparent market?  Certainly not!  Would I intentionally hurt my friend?  No indeed.  But I'm sure I did, and again, I'm so sorry. 

Lesson learned.  I'll keep on trying to do my very best as a grandmother.  I'll love and play and read and pray and try.  But I will not wonder publicly, aloud, or at the expense of friendship.  I'll follow the leading that I should have before, and Good Lord willing and with His help, I won't make this mistake again.

With that being said, we'll move on to another day in the life of a struggling Christian who is weak and incomplete and taking baby steps toward maturity.  One of these days!  Thanks for coming along on the journey. 

The 2013 Project: February, the LOVE month!

Well, it's the last day of January, my month for PEACE.  It's funny:  when I decided on my resolutions for this calendar year, I came up with 16 theme words.  I had thought "one a month," but obviously a few months will double-up.  Peace is January's theme, and all through the month, I kept coming across scripture verses, articles, blogs, devotionals that focused on peace....just like "they" knew!  It was more than coincidental.  Wonderful words they were and so helpful to me in my quest for peace.  Our family has been through some storms this fall and winter, and we have all needed God's peace:  it defies logic, permeates the soul, so wonderful that it we cannot understand it.  It keeps our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  It is the ONLY place to be:  encompassed by God's beautiful peace.

So now, we approach February:  LOVE month!  Our church always had LOVE MONTH when I was a young adult.  Sermons, devotionals, articles, classes all focused on love.  It was a tradition I loved and looked forward to.  We had secret saints...surprised each other with acts of love and little gifts of love.  The month culminated with a Love Feast, a gathering of church family for a meal, music, and program focusing on God's love for us and our love for Him and each other...very meaningful indeed.

In 2013, love will again be this next month's theme.  I'm excited to see what's in store for me and mine as we venture into this month.  How can I better love?  How can I share this love with a needy and hurting world?  Can I love when I might instead hate or dislike greatly?  Will my love shine forth or will I hide it under a bushel, like I sometimes tend to?  Will I answer with loving words?  Will I BE His love?

Yes, 2013 is shaping up to be a fruitful year, one month, one theme-word at a time.  Here's to February, the month of love.  May it be so.  And by the end of December, may our lives and world be just a little richer for the building of a great big bowl, piled high with this fruit of His spirit, plus a few other goodies directed by Him :)

Remember "Little is Much?"

Several months ago, we were given little vinyl signs saying, "Little is much in the hands of God," to place at strategic places around our home.  We have two, one on the microwave and one on the base of our bedroom tv. 

I've probably looked at them hundreds of times since they were placed and had many different thoughts about what they say...here are a few of the "thoughts:"

- my faith is sometimes small, but God can increase it
- my patience can be small, and my temper short; but God can increase my patience and curb my temper, if I can accept His proddings and help
- I can be a very small person, thinking bad thoughts and saying ugly things; but God loves me and discplines me because of that love...and takes me to higher thoughts and kinder words
- my wavering hope grows by leaps and bounds when I put my problems in the hands of God
- I am weak but He is strong
- humility is not a weakness but rather a strength
- All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small; all things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all
- a tiny splinter can cause great pain (both literally and figuratively)
- even a tiny child can have a great spiritual nature
- a smile means the world, to someone hurting
- even a small gesture of friendship means so much
- finding a penny is exciting!
- next time you hear "Happy Birthday" being sung, give the birthday person a crisp dollar and watch their face light up!
- buy a homeless person a hamburger...or give him/her a bottle of cold water...or a Coke...might just make their day!
- clean socks to a barefoot person make such a difference
- a tiny seed grows into a beautiful plant
- a word of kindness, a hug, an understanding word mean more than a speech
- write a note, send a text, ask how a person is doing...be a friend!
- on and on, we can go...the list is endless, the possibilities for good, as well

Yes, it doesn't take but a little to make much, in the hands of God. 

Will you join me today is offering just a little something to someone? Then wait to see what big, wonderful things God will do with that small gesture!  He won't disappoint.

2013

Well, another new year is here!  Time is moving on, and here we are, with 364 new days ahead of us in 2013.  What will we do with these days?  Will they be good ones?  Memorable ones?  Hard ones?  Time will tell...If I had to guess, I would imagine they will hold a little bit of everything...good, bad, happy, sad...perhaps I should "resolve" to do/be some things that might help me everyday, whether it's a good day or a bad one.

Since I'm already one of those who likes to make New Year's Resolutions,  here's what I'm thinking this second day of the new year: 

 - I know I will not be perfect in keeping my resolutions, but I do resolve to do my best and to keep each one as a priority.

 - Since there are 12 months in the year, I'm thinking I'll add a resolution-a-month; and at the end of December, I will have at least "grown" in those 12 areas.

 - I've made my list, and it came out to 14~  I guess I'll have to double up a time or two :)

 - I'm going to call my list "Fruitful Resolutions," and I don't mean apples, oranges, and bananas (although a few more of those in my diet might just be a good thing!)

I resolve in January to make PEACE a priority.  Peace:  not just the absence of dissent or discord, but that place in my heart and life where the peace of God resides.  No matter what happens, He is there; He will get  through the fire, the storm, the raging sea.  He will soothe my spirit and give me His peace which passes understanding.  His peace:  calmness, respite from tension and anxiety, a quietness and sense of acceptance and tranquility that is out-of-body, out-of-this-world, yet perfectly relavent to my circumstances...in other words, not because I'm trying so hard or because I've decided it will be but because I'm trusting Him for it.

Here's to PEACE:  I hope to both walk with it by day and sleep in His heavenly peace  at night.  And may it be contagious to those whom I love most and to those with  whom I share life: my husband, children, and grandson...and with our dear friends, acquaintances, and strangers alike.

In the year of our Lord 2013, may PEACE prevail, and may it begin with me.