One of my favorite stories is that of Ferdinand, a little bull who was born and lived in Spain.
His story was written and published in 1936, but his message is as pertinent today as it was almost 80 years ago. It has been listed as one of the top 40 children's books of all times. It's a wonderful story, full of truth and beauty.
Here's Ferdinand's story in a nutshell:
"All the other little bulls he lived with would run and jump and butt their heads together, but not Ferdinand. He liked to sit just quietly and smell the flowers. He had a favorite spot out in the pasture under a cork tree. It was his favorite tree and he would sit in its shade all day and smell the flowers."
I like that about Ferdinand. He marched to the beat of his own drummer. He liked the other little bulls. He was their friend. But he just didn't like to do all that rough and tumble stuff. He was just content with his own quiet little world where he could sit and enjoy the beauty of nature.
"Ferdinand's mother saw that he was not lonesome, and because she was an understanding mother, even though she was a cow, she let him just sit there and be happy."
What a mom. She understood her little boy. He wasn't lonely; he was happy! She encouraged his uniqueness, not succumbing to the ever-present peer pressure...the competition...that seems to pervade the world of parents-raising-children. She loved him with an unconditional love that allowed him to be just who he was, without judgment or interference. It was based on her hard-wired mother-love that God gives and that listening moms hear with their instincts. Kudos to mama cow!
The story goes on: it is time for the annual bull fights in Madrid, and all the other now-grown-up bulls wanted to be picked to fight the matador. They had grown up fighting each other, butting and sticking each other with their horns. But not Ferdinand. He had grown up, too, but was still content...happy to just sit under his tree and smell the flowers. He had no desire whatsoever to fight anyone or anything.
One day five men with funny hats came to pick the biggest, fastest, roughest bull. "All the other bulls ran around snorting and butting, leaping and jumping so that the men would think that they were very very strong and fierce and pick them." But not Ferdinand. "He knew that they wouldn't pick him, and he didn't care. So he went out to his favorite cork tree to sit down."
Instead of plopping down on the soft, green grass, he sat down on a bumble bee! The bee did what bees do when someone sits on them: STING! And it HURT! "Ferdinand jumped up with a snort...ran around puffing and snorting, butting and pawing the ground as if her were crazy."
It just so happened that the five men in the funny hats saw him and were overjoyed! They had found their fierce bull! "Just the one for the bull fights in Madrid! So they took him away for the bull fight day..."
Madrid was alive with flags waving, bands and a parade, with all the hoop-la and atmosphere of a Neyland Stadium on game-day..."lovely ladies had flowers in their hair...the Matador, the proudest of all -- he thought he was very handsome and bowed to the ladies. He had a red cape and a sword and was supposed to stick the bull last of all."
And...the bull "Ferdinand the Fierce" ...ran into the ring, and everybody screamed and applauded because the fight was about to begin; and they would get to see the mean bull snort and paw and butt, sticking his horns around.
"But not Ferdinand. When he got to the middle of the ring, he saw the flowers in all the lovely ladies' hair and he just sat down quietly and smelled." He wouldn't fight nor be fierce. He just sat there!
Good ole Ferdinand. Being himself. Not caving. Not caring. No matter what. Even when the Matador and his friends got mad, madder, maddest...because they couldn't show off and "win" over their opponent in front of all the people.
So...they took Ferdinand home. "And for all I know he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly. He is very happy."
There are lots of lessons to be learned from Ferdinand's story: how to mother, how to treat others, how to cope with peer pressure, how to be ourselves, how to be content...
Ah, the life of peace and contentment. Something we all desire. When we find ourselves in the midst of life, with all its pressures, problems, and stress: some great big issues, some little, some annoying, some life-changing...some life-threatening. When feeling overwhelmed and under-equipped; when we would like to run away for just awhile... to refresh ourselves, recharge our batteries...We might just learn a lesson from our friend Ferdinand and just sit in the shade of a tree and relax.
It doesn't come naturally for some of us. We are more like the majority of bulls: busy running around, sometimes snorting, sometimes fighting not with horns or paws but with thoughts, words, opinions, solutions, on and on...getting nowhere, just adding to our worries and angst.
How about trying the quiet approach of being still...listening...finding peace and contentment through meditation, prayer, reading, studying, trusting. The problems may not go magically away. But by taking on a new attitude, we can better roll-with-the-flow; we can cope; we can do what needs to be done and come out at the other side with perhaps some scars and bandaids but no mortal wounds. We can survive and even thrive, with the help of others and our Best Friend who never leaves us nor forsakes us.
And a big thanks to Ferdinand for being you and for showing us a better way. We may just flop down underneath your tree with you and be happy!
CONCORD CHRONICLE - Dedicated to God, the author of peace and lover of concord
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Honoring Those with Alzheimers
In memory of my mother, who died almost six years ago after fighting her good fight with Alzheimers...and honoring many friends and strangers alike who are in the fight of their lives with this sad disease...also honoring their caregivers and/or loved ones who bravely and unselfishly help in their journeys - (Reprising an article first published in May 2008: "Mother:")
And so it goes...a life well-lived has ended, and another chapter of our lives has begun. It is a true blessing from God that Mother is whole again, no longer hindered in any way. She can remember, recognize, smile, laugh, talk, walk, and eat; she can hear well and do for herself again in the way she always wanted. She can cook and garden and feed her birds and chase away those pesky squirrels! She can drive her car and write her letters and work crossword puzzles til the cows come home. She can read her newspaper and the Wall Street Journal til her heart's content...she can watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and win most every time!...and plan one of her fun trips with Daddy to some interesting place in the world, making notes so that her journal would be complete with what they had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and all they saw and new friends they met and what all the day had had in store for them. She can bake homemade bread and Williamsburg Fresh Coconut Cake with Lemon Curd Filling....Jambalaya...Party Chicken with Artichokes...Chicken Basque...those famous Christmas goodies including Turkish Delight, pulled mints, dipped chocolates, and Spritz cookies in all the shapes from her cookie press...She can make a double batch of boiled custard and take it to an ailing neighbor...or even someone in the hospital...or perhaps a batch of oatmeal cookies or a loaf of datenut bread. She can plant flat after flat of pansies and her vegetable garden of cantloupe, tomatoes, hills of peppers and Jerusalem artichokes and okra and green beans...She can tend her wildflowers: columbine and lilies of the valley and Jack in the Pulpit and sit on her homemade bench, made from a couple downed trees, to admire the beauty of something only God could create. She can listen to her music and play the piano by ear and enjoy her opera with the volume turned way up. She can shop for bargains and redeem her coupons and visit with her friends at Food City again. She can invite the neighbors and her golden friends from Norris and Clinton and Oak Ridge and Knoxville to a festive dinner party where she can use the good china and silver and arrange the centerpiece herself...She can invite a daughter to lunch out and they can do some shopping together with that lucky daughter always receiving a new item "just because." She can be young again, vicariously through the grandchildren and those precious great-grands...laughing and joking and telling them tales of life as it used to be: the depression years of her childhood, of surveying with her daddy "Papa," of living with her grandmother when times were so bad that Papa and Granny needed help feeding and raising their young; of college life and working at Drexel and moving to Anniston with Father Bill and Mama Stoney, as they were called from Grace Episcopal Church in Morganton to Grace Church in Anniston...of meeting and falling in love with her handsome friend Harry...and their marriage as the bells tolled VJ Day on that hot August afternoon in 1945...of the early years in Anniston and my brother's birth and then mine...of moving to Oak Ridge as Daddy's career dictated...and on to Norris and their beloved St Francis Church and all those fun days of our childhood in a small, safe, friendly community...then to Knoxville where they spent the next 50 years, continuing to raise children and being active in church and community and neighborhood and school affairs...Retirement for Daddy and all the fun they had traveling the Super Seniors tennis circuit, making new friends, with opportunities to visit and correspond...Daddy's illness and death and Mother's subsequent waning as Alzheimers entered the picture: sad times as another chapter in her life began, that long journey of 8-9 years, one that would take her into the throes of silence and dependence on others. She didn't like that, but she persevered, again showing that strength of character and resolve. She seldom complained, never whined, never felt sorry for herself, at least outwardly. She adjusted to her new apartment, complete with her antiques and needlework on the walls...and was heartbroken when it became necessary to give it up and move on to assisted living, then special care for Alzheimers patients and then finally her last home in skilled nursing. She made the best of it, though, in her stoic way...just part of the journey. She was a joy to the staff, as she went about her day, cooperating and reading and even talking in a new poetic language marked by "to be" at the end of each phrase. It was so sad for us to watch; but even with that, she plowed on, influencing others in the positive. Her last two years were especially difficult as she lost more and more of the zest which made her HER...and her struggles with eating and swallowing and breathing worsened. On May 15, 2008, we experienced the ultimate in bittersweetness: we had lost her but she was free! She was whole again! She was reunited with her kind and gentle Harry...and best of all, because of her faith and trust in Him, she lives on in her new home, where she can serve in her new body with her new mind that is absolutely and perfectly clear and bright. And so it goes..the circle of life. We rejoice and thank God.
And so it goes...a life well-lived has ended, and another chapter of our lives has begun. It is a true blessing from God that Mother is whole again, no longer hindered in any way. She can remember, recognize, smile, laugh, talk, walk, and eat; she can hear well and do for herself again in the way she always wanted. She can cook and garden and feed her birds and chase away those pesky squirrels! She can drive her car and write her letters and work crossword puzzles til the cows come home. She can read her newspaper and the Wall Street Journal til her heart's content...she can watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and win most every time!...and plan one of her fun trips with Daddy to some interesting place in the world, making notes so that her journal would be complete with what they had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and all they saw and new friends they met and what all the day had had in store for them. She can bake homemade bread and Williamsburg Fresh Coconut Cake with Lemon Curd Filling....Jambalaya...Party Chicken with Artichokes...Chicken Basque...those famous Christmas goodies including Turkish Delight, pulled mints, dipped chocolates, and Spritz cookies in all the shapes from her cookie press...She can make a double batch of boiled custard and take it to an ailing neighbor...or even someone in the hospital...or perhaps a batch of oatmeal cookies or a loaf of datenut bread. She can plant flat after flat of pansies and her vegetable garden of cantloupe, tomatoes, hills of peppers and Jerusalem artichokes and okra and green beans...She can tend her wildflowers: columbine and lilies of the valley and Jack in the Pulpit and sit on her homemade bench, made from a couple downed trees, to admire the beauty of something only God could create. She can listen to her music and play the piano by ear and enjoy her opera with the volume turned way up. She can shop for bargains and redeem her coupons and visit with her friends at Food City again. She can invite the neighbors and her golden friends from Norris and Clinton and Oak Ridge and Knoxville to a festive dinner party where she can use the good china and silver and arrange the centerpiece herself...She can invite a daughter to lunch out and they can do some shopping together with that lucky daughter always receiving a new item "just because." She can be young again, vicariously through the grandchildren and those precious great-grands...laughing and joking and telling them tales of life as it used to be: the depression years of her childhood, of surveying with her daddy "Papa," of living with her grandmother when times were so bad that Papa and Granny needed help feeding and raising their young; of college life and working at Drexel and moving to Anniston with Father Bill and Mama Stoney, as they were called from Grace Episcopal Church in Morganton to Grace Church in Anniston...of meeting and falling in love with her handsome friend Harry...and their marriage as the bells tolled VJ Day on that hot August afternoon in 1945...of the early years in Anniston and my brother's birth and then mine...of moving to Oak Ridge as Daddy's career dictated...and on to Norris and their beloved St Francis Church and all those fun days of our childhood in a small, safe, friendly community...then to Knoxville where they spent the next 50 years, continuing to raise children and being active in church and community and neighborhood and school affairs...Retirement for Daddy and all the fun they had traveling the Super Seniors tennis circuit, making new friends, with opportunities to visit and correspond...Daddy's illness and death and Mother's subsequent waning as Alzheimers entered the picture: sad times as another chapter in her life began, that long journey of 8-9 years, one that would take her into the throes of silence and dependence on others. She didn't like that, but she persevered, again showing that strength of character and resolve. She seldom complained, never whined, never felt sorry for herself, at least outwardly. She adjusted to her new apartment, complete with her antiques and needlework on the walls...and was heartbroken when it became necessary to give it up and move on to assisted living, then special care for Alzheimers patients and then finally her last home in skilled nursing. She made the best of it, though, in her stoic way...just part of the journey. She was a joy to the staff, as she went about her day, cooperating and reading and even talking in a new poetic language marked by "to be" at the end of each phrase. It was so sad for us to watch; but even with that, she plowed on, influencing others in the positive. Her last two years were especially difficult as she lost more and more of the zest which made her HER...and her struggles with eating and swallowing and breathing worsened. On May 15, 2008, we experienced the ultimate in bittersweetness: we had lost her but she was free! She was whole again! She was reunited with her kind and gentle Harry...and best of all, because of her faith and trust in Him, she lives on in her new home, where she can serve in her new body with her new mind that is absolutely and perfectly clear and bright. And so it goes..the circle of life. We rejoice and thank God.
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